The Fear of Being Alone
by RebaForever15
Summary: What if the rumors at the end of The Ghost Posistion had been true. A secret love and the possibility of a new one.
1. Chapter 1

**Okay so we all know by now that something obviously happened between Vera and Stuart but we were never told what and Joe and Vera's relationship is just amazing and I want to explore that. Hope you enjoy xx**

**The Fear Of Being Alone.**

**Joe/Vera**

**Chapter 1**

He stared over into her office for the tenth time that day. He was starting to worry about her now. It had been over 4 weeks since they had buried her friend Sargent Stuart Macken. There had been some gossip that there had been something going on between Vera and Stuart when she had ran into him 5 months previous. Rumors obviously started by Billy and Kenny who had nothing better to do with their time. Joe began to wonder if maybe they had been right all along and something had gone on between them. When Stuart Macken's daughter Stella had been injured and they'd met him at the hospital there had been some akwardness in their manner which Joe had dismissed at the time. When Stuart had taken his own life it had hit Vera alot harder then he'd expected.

This past week he'd noticed that there was somthing bothering her and he was starting to get concerned.

"Joe. These were just delivered for you by Celine".

"Ahh great bloody divorce papers. Well can't say I wasn't expecting them. Is she still downstairs".

"No mate. She left. Sorry".

"No worries Kenny. Cheers".

"By the way. What the hells up with her lately". Kenny asked. Looking over into Vera's office.

"She's just buried her friend Kenny".

"That was over 4 weeks ago".

"There's no time limit on grief Kenny".

"I guess. Well I'm off home. Catch you all tomorrow".

"Yeah night Kenny".

Joe watched as the others followed suit. Before he knew it he was alone in the darkened office. He looked over at Vera once again and decided enough was enough. He got up and walked over to her office and opened the door.

"Boss".

"Mmm".

"You okay Vera".

"Sorry pet". She said. Looking up.

"I asked if your okay".

"Fine love".

"Liar. You looked exhausted. Actually you haven't looked right for weeks".

Vera looked around the room at anything so as not to make eye contact with him.

"Can I ask you something". Joe asked.

"Can I stop you".

"Was there something between you and Stuart Macken. I mean before his daughter ended up in hospital".

"You get straight to the point don't you". She said. Sarcastically.

"Vera".

"Alright. Yes. We had a brief relationship years ago and then 5 months ago when we met again something happened with us. The thing about Stuart was that he never cared about the way I looked. If I wore make-up or not. He was with me for who I was".

"You loved him".

"Oh shock, horror. Your Boss had a personal life".

"Yeah alright. Look I'm not bloody judging you".

"Aren't you".

"No I'm not. If you think I am then you obviously don't know me aswell as you thought".

"I'm sorry pet".

Joe wasn't stupid. He knew there was something she wasn't telling him.

"Look. I know you don't like people interferring".

"But your gonna anyway. Yes".

"I'm worried about you".

"Well there's no need. I'm fine".

"No your not. Your tired all the time. Your distracted. Pale. You look like your loosing weight".

"I wish".

"Does it have something to do with the Angina".

"It's not the Angina Joe. I told you before that's under control".

"Then what is it because it's something".

Jow watched her sway slightly as she stood up from her desk. Without really thinking. He rushed over to her side and put his arm around her waist to stop her collapsing on him.

"Hey. You okay".

"I'm alright. Just stood up too quickly. I'm okay. Stop fussing". She yelled.

"Come on. Sit yourself back down". He said. Lowering her back into her seat.

"Sorry Joe. I didn't mean to yell at you".

"It's fine. You know whatever it is. You know it won't leave this room. Your not well Vera. You need to see a Doctor".

"I've already seen a bloody Doctor".

"Okay. Well good. So. What did he say".

"I'm not sick Joe".

"Vera come on".

"I'm pregnant".

Joe just looked at her with utter shock displayed on his face. At first he thought she was pulling his leg but on closer examination he could see she was being completely serious. If she had been younger then it would have made perfect sense to him way before now. Looking at her pale complextion, the distractions, the dizziness. She clearly had all the normal symtoms.

"Are you gonna say something or are you just gonna stand there looking gormless". She asked.

"I'm sorry. It's just. Well. I'm kinda shocked".

"Your shocked. How the bloody hell do you think I feel".

"When did you find out".

"A week after the funeral".

"You've known about this for over 3 weeks and you never said anything".

"Don't you yell at me. I just needed to get my head around it".

"So have you".

"Well ofcourse I bloody haven't".

It was very rare that Joe saw her upset like this but he put it down to the hormones. God hormones. Just associating that word with his Boss sounded strange.

"I'm not sure I can do this Joe. Me, kids. We don't mix well".

"It's different when you have your own".

"I'm not the most maternal woman in the world am I".

"Right now all you need to ask yourself is do you want to keep this baby because if you don't then you have some tough decisions to make".

"I do want to have it. It's part of Stuart. Ofcourse I do. I'm just really scared Joe. I'm not sure I can do this on my own".

"You won't be on your own. I'm here and I'm not going anywhere".

"What would I do without my faithful Sargent, eh". She smiled.

"Come on. It's time we were getting you home".

He stretched out his hand which she accepted with the minimum of fuss and left for the evening and thinking about all the decisions she was going to have to make.

To Be Continued...


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

A few weeks after Vera's confession to Joe. She had decided that it was time to tell the rest of her team. Everything in her head was telling her not to tell them but in her heart she knew she couldn't keep it from them for very much longer. She walked out of her offfice and made her way over to Joe's desk and placed her hand on his shoulder.

"Joe".

"Hey. You okay". He asked. Concerned by her complextion.

"I think it's time I told them all".

"What now".

"If I keep putting it off then I'll never tell them".

"I guess your right. Do you wanna sit down. You look exhausted".

"It's this bloody morning sickness. Why do they call it that. I feel nausea all day".

"It seems to affect women in different ways. It might help if you try to eat something. Here. Try these".

"Crackers. I'm not a bloody parrott Joe".

"Dry crackers are suppose to help settle your stomach. It worked for Celine. Give them a go. You need something".

"Thank you". She said. Taking the crackers from him.

"God. You must feel bad. Your not even arguing with me".

"Enjoy it while you can pet". She smiled.

"Are you sure you wanna tell them when you're feeling like this".

"It'll be one less thing I have to worry about. Won't it".

"If you're sure". Joe said. Still worried about his Boss.

Joe got up from his seat and gave it to Vera. Which she accepted gratefully.

"Right. You lot. Listen up. I need your attention for a few minutes". Vera said.

"Look. I'm still trying to trace this bloomin' serial number on the laptop so I haven't got any updates".

"It's not about the case Kenny. Can you just stop what your doing please and listen".

"Everything alright Ma'am". Beth asked. Noticing the tiredness in her Boss.

"A few weeks ago there were some rumors going around by certain people concerning my association with Stuart Macken".

Everybody turned and looked over at Kenny who's eyes suddenly diverted to the floor. Knowing all too well that she was having a go at him and Billy.

"It's none of our business Ma'am". D.I Roberts said.

"Well it is in a way now. I suppose". She said. Akwardly.

Kenny looked over at Joe. Who he noticed was standing over Vera protectivly.

"What the hell's going on". Kenny piped up.

"There was something between Stuart and I. Not that it was really any of your concern Kenny or Billy's".

"So why tell us now then". He replied.

"Christ Kenny. Will you just let her speak". Joe replied.

"I found out some news. Shortly after Stuart's death".

"After he killed himself you mean". Kenny said. Bitterly.

"Kenny. I swear to god".

"It's alright Joe. After Stuart died. I found out that I was pregnant".

As soon as she said it. She heard the gasps from everyone. This was the moment she had feared the most. Their reactions. Joe's had been bad enough but she knew she could trust him. The others she wasn't sure about. She wasn't as close to them as she was with Joe.

"Bloody hell". Kenny said.

"Thanks Kenny. I can always rely on you to make a situation feel worse". Vera said.

At that moment a young PC walked into the room and brought everyone back to reality.

"Sorry to interrupt Ma'am but the Chief Super would like a quick word".

"Right pet. Everybody get back to work. I've said all I needed to say. As always. Thanks for your support". She said. Walking out the room.

The room went completely silent before Joe finally spoke up.

"Well you lot were bloody useless. You really know how to make someone feel like crap don't you".

"What the bloody hell did you expect us to say for christ sake". Kenny asked.

"How about congratulations. If you need anything just ask. Something. Anything to let her know she has some bloody support. You think this is easy for her Kenny. I know she doesn't like to show it but she's scared. Stuart's dead. She's on her own".

"How far along is she Joe". Beth asked.

"About 8 weeks".

"It certainly explains the way she's been looking lately. Is she eating alright".

"Not really. She can't keep anything down. Her morning sickness seems to be day and night at the moment".

"It does affect women in different ways. When my Sister was having my Nephew she was barely sick at all".

"Maybe it might have something to do with her age". Kenny interjected.

"Do you want a bloody punch in the face Kenny because your heading for one". Joe said.

"Well come on. It's what we're all thinking. A baby at her age".

"Look. It was just as much a shock to her as it was to us".

"Is she alright though. Seriously. Health wise I mean. Is the baby alright". Beth asked. Concerned.

"She's got an appointment next week. Her Doc says she just needs to rest. No stress".

"No stress. In this job". Beth said.

"I know. I think that's why she wanted you all to know. Help to relieve some of her stress".

"Joe. You know we'll all help her anyway we can. WON'T WE KENNY". Beth said.

"Yeah. Yeah ofcourse we will". Kenny smiled.

"Thanks guy's. Just try and treat her as normally as possible. If you start fussing over her. She'll bloody kill ya". He smiled.

To Be Continued...


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

The following morning Joe came into the office a few hours earlier to get some peace from all the screaming matches over the phone with Celine regarding custody of the kids. The first thing he noticed when he entered was the light to Vera's office on. He walked over and saw her sitting with her eyes closed. He opened the door quietly and went inside.

"Vera". He said. Softly.

"Mmm. Joe. Your in early pet". She replied. Opening her eyes.

He walked round her desk and knelt down beside her. Noticing her hands resting on her abdomen.

"I was up half the night on the phone with Celine".

"Everything alright".

"She wants full custody of the kids. She can't do that, can she. She can't take them away from me. I'm their father for christ sake".

"You have a good job Joe. It's well paid. You have flexible hours if you need them. The judge will see that and you'll be heard fairly". She smiled.

"You haven't been here all night have you". He asked. Changing the subject.

"I must have dozed off".

"Vera".

"Joe I know. I don't need a lecture alright".

"Well clearly you do. Sleeping in your office chair isn't good for you or the baby. You need a proper nights sleep in a bed".

"Well I'll make sure that I make it home tonight. Okay".

"I know you will because I'll be driving you there myself".

Joe looked at how tired she was. He hated to see someone he cared about unwell and knowing that there was nothing he could do about it than to let it run it's course.

"Look. I'm sorry if I keep on at you. I just worry".

"I know you do pet. It's fine. Your right. I'm just that used to thinking about myself. I keep forgetting there's a baby in here". She said. Running a hand over her stomach.

"It's so wierd all this. You having a baby. I know yesterday didn't exactly go the way you'd hoped but the others. They were just in a bit of shock. You know they'll all help you out anyway they can but you have to remember that you can't be proud to ask for it. It works both ways".

"I know love and your right. So having said that I'll make a start now shall I".

"How do you mean".

"I've got my first scan next Tuesday and I really don't want to go on my own".

"You want me to come".

"You don't have too. Only if you have the time. I know your a bit tied up with the divorce and the kids".

"No. Listen ofcourse I'll come. I'd be happy too".

"Thanks pet".

"Come on". He said. Helping her up.

"Where are we going".

"Downstairs for some breakfast".

"I'm really not that hungry love".

"Ahh. What have we just been saying. Your eating something. Come on".

Tuesday came around quicker that Vera had expected. Joe sat beside her as they waited for the Doctor to arrive. Joe glanced over at her and saw the anxious look on her face.

"You okay Vera".

"Just a little nervous".

"Don't worry. It'll be fine".

"My age is against me though isn't it and the angina".

"I thought you said the angina was under control".

"It is".

"So you have nothing to worry about then have you".

"Miss Stanhope. The Doctor will see you now". The receptionist said.

Vera gave the young woman a warm smile as she and Joe made thier way through to the Doctor's office. Once inside the Doctor instructed Vera to lie out on the examination table. Joe stood at her side unsure of what role he should be playing here.

"So Vera. How have you been keeping". Dr Perkins asked.

"Okay I think. The morning sickness has been pretty bad but other than that I feel fine". She replied.

"Well we'll sort you out with something later to help with that. So who's this then". He asked. Making eye contact with Joe.

"I'm DS Joe Ashworth. A friend and colleague of Vera's. Just here for some moral support". He smiled.

"Well I'm glad she has someone to lean on. I know how stubborn she can be". He smirked.

"Oi you two. I am right here you know". Vera said. Interuppting them.

"Right. Yes sorry. Okay Vera. If you'd just like to lift you top half 'll get started". Dr Perkins said.

Vera did as she was told and Dr Perkins applied some gel to her stomach which caused her to jump suddenly. He gave her an apologetic smile and began running the ultrasound. He moved the device over her abdomen and as she and Joe were staring at the screen the sound of the baby's heartbeat began and as they looked closer at the screen and the outline of the baby finally came into view. Seeing the baby infront of her finally made the whole situation real and no words to describe how she felt at that moment and the tears began to form.

"Hey. You okay". Joe asked. Taking hold of her hand.

For a moment she couldn't speak. The tears threatening to fall. Eventually she got enough breath to turn to him. Squeeze his hand and utter her reply.

"I couldn't be happier pet. Thank you for being here with me Joe". She said. Smiling back at him.

To Be Continued...


	4. Chapter 4

**Okay my lovlies. The last Chapter. Hope it's up to standard. Enjoy xx**

**Chapter 4**

Joe was driving Vera back home from her Doctor's appointment and he noticed that she'd gone very quiet. He figured maybe she was just tired. At the very least he hoped that was all it was. As they pulled up outside her house Vera suddenly burst into tears which took Joe by suprise.

"Hey what's wrong. Come on. Let's get you inside eh".

Joe got out of the car and then walked round to Vera's side and helped her out and escorted her into the house. He helped her remove her jacket and helped her to sit down.

"I'm sorry Joe. God knows what you must think of me".

"You're allowed to be. All part of being pregnant I'm told".

"It's not that pet".

"Well what is it then".

"What if I'm no good at this Joe".

"You've lost me now".

"A mother Joe. What if I'm crap at it. I'm not maternal. I've never had to think about anyone else but myself before. Damn Stuart for getting me into this situation".

"Hey. He wasn't the only one there that night. I know you would never have gotten rid of the baby because at the end of the day it's your's".

"I know pet. I just don't want to do this on my own".

"How many times do I need to tell you this. You're not on your own. I'm not going anywhere am I". Joe said. Taking hold of her hand.

Vera gave Joe a small smile and as Joe smiled back at her she began crying again so Joe gathered her in his arms. They stayed that way for a few moments.

"Thanks Joe". Vera said. As she kissed his cheek.

Vera was definately getting soft during her pregnancy Joe figured. Looking into her eye's Joe just couldn't help himself and he kissed her. Vera found herself kissing him back. She pulled back from him and gave him a soft smile.

"Joe. Why did you do that".

"Not sure really. Spur of the moment thing I guess. It felt right though. Don't you think".

"Joe. You don't want to get involved with me pet".

"Say's you".

"I'm your Boss and I'm having another man's child and to top it off I'm too old for you love".

"Would you stop putting yourself down all the time. I care about you and I want to help you. Both of you". He said. Smiling at her.

As the months went by Joe and Vera began spending alot more time together. Joe accompanied her to all her scans and was by her side when she had the baby. Joe had finally managed to sort out the custody of his children with Celine and apart from a few snide comments from Kenny and Billy the other memebers of the team offered their support.

Joe was on the phone to the office informing everyone about Vera and the baby when the Doctor appeared by his side.

"Joe. You can go back in now".

"Are they okay".

"They're fine. Baby's all cleaned up".

"Thanks Doc".

Joe made his way back into Vera's room. He couldn't help but smile at the image before him. He walked over and sat on the bed beside her.

"You okay". He asked.

"Couldn't be better pet. Just a little sore. It was worth it though. Look at her Joe".

"She's beautiful. Just like her mother. I love you. Both of you". He smiled.

"We love you too Joe". She replied. Leaning into kiss him.

She loved Joe very much and the idea of them as a couple would take alot of getting use too. However after Stuart's death and then finding out about the baby and how scared she had been. Just knowing Joe was there made her fear of being alone a distant memory.

Finxxx


End file.
